It is not possible for us to say which marriages are going to last and which are not. It can depend on an infinite number of factors. But for wedding officiants, they have some clue. Below are some ‘Wont-last-Marriage’ signs as shared by the officiants.
1. One partner being judgmental of the other
The one who is judging knows they can eventually change the other. The judge one presumes that judging one will calm down. This conflict is a deeper issue where there is an unwillingness to accept the other person as who they are in a honoring manner. Solution is to ask them if they can change else don’t get into marriage if you can’t accept how they are. The partner before marriage should make sure that the person must know the limits in criticizing.
2. Couples believing that they are incomplete without the other
Yes! This is just an illusion that people think they are incomplete without the other. It in fact describes about the self that s/he is not happy by oneself. They need other person to be happy and it creates an unrealistic responsibility for the other’s well-being. This could be a great sign of immaturity and personal insecurity. It erodes the relationship as the partner could feel burdened with the responsibility of other person’s happiness rather than having someone stand by his/her side.
3. One rationalizes the other’s odds
It is very important to know each other deeply in a relationship. One partner must not think of the other’s behavior in their own views. Rather they should discuss each other’s views before making life decisions.
4. Everything else becomes a priority than the relationship
This is a sign that something is terribly wrong in the relationship. Sometimes it totally makes sense to give more attention to serious matters of life like parent’s illness, a friend in need, a project with deadline- but if these make you put your relationship behind, it is high time you ask yourself what is the reason you are trying to avoid the relationship. Partners are like a team. All matters should be addressed together because that is what makes the team stronger and more intimate.
5. Couples have no equality
Healthy partnership is the one in which both feel emotionally safe and both value each other’s views. But if one tries to win and shuts off the other, the relationship becomes unfulfilling.
6. One partner feels entitled
Neither of them should think the other owes them or must act according to his/her wish because that is not a sign of healthy mentality.
7. Lack of physical and emotional intimacy
This is a clear indicator of something has broken down the path of marriage. Partner must be like a best friend when it comes to emotional intimacy. Lack of communication or holding onto resentments might come way of the physical intimacy. So always try to make moments together which create emotional intimacy that in turn leads to physical intimacy.